We’ve had the celebrations, received some retirement cheques, sold our old house and began to settle in our new home and so I am experiencing a new luxury in asking myself, “What now? What will I be when I grow up?”
It seems we have achieved a goal for which all of our energy was concentrated for so long that there wasn’t even quite time to chart out the next step. Oh, there had been New Year’s resolutions and the usual promises to oneself that when I had time I would (insert action here). However, unlike resolutions that one sets knowing quite well it’ll likely get put aside in about three weeks into January, this goal has been achieved.
That’s a bit of what I’m feeling in retirement. While I worked hard and master planned the big dream for so many years with my husband, I didn’t really anticipate what it’d be like once I arrived. So easily I was immersed in my routine. The alarm signals the day, I stumble into the shower only sometimes having the awareness to smell the subtle aloe of the soap. The commute to work occurs and it’s Monday then Friday and already Monday again after a brief weekend respite.
I had a huge list of the things I could accomplish if I just didn’t have to go to work each day. Things like learning to write again, play guitar, speak Spanish, get in shape, achieve better mind/body balance, cook more from scratch, do some gardening, sleep in more and take time to enjoy my surroundings. I don’t think I was naïve enough to add achieve world peace but all the same there were some huge aspirations.
The Monday that merged into Friday and then Monday again contained signals of what was to come. Questions answered, decisions made, forms completed outlining the final steps of that long chapter. Although somehow it all crept up so fast and beyond a simple mind’s capacity to fully comprehend the enormity of it all.
This blog is one step toward that self-discovery. Thanks to some good advice from accomplished writers Jennifer Cockrall-King, Dianne Jacob and others, I no longer view writing a blog as purely narcissistic. Rather I see it as a means to do my scales, find my voice and explore the possibilities.
I invite you if you’d like to drop in and join me on my journey. Perhaps, along the way the question will get answered – not just for me but for you.